When I was younger I put people in categories. You either smoked weed so automatically we couldn’t be friends because “you did drugs” or you were really conservative so once again we probably couldn’t be friends. My family is liberal and even though I knew nothing about politics, I just figured it wouldn’t work out. The funny part about this is as I got older, I noticed myself saying things like “those people” are too much of this or too little of that. And oh ya, “those people” over there, they’re way too judgmental. As I look back on this I can’t help but think of how hypocritical I was. Who was I to categorize a group as judgmental when the very act of what I was doing consisted of judging?
Living life labeling each person and sealing them tightly into a jar with their similiars didn’t get me very far. The stoners in one, the drama kids in another and so on. I guess this is kinda how high school works though?
It really doesn’t end in high school though. There will always be more jars to create in your head and by doing this the person you end up hurting most is yourself.
I think judgment comes from a lack of curiosity and it ends in isolation. When I think back on situations or people that I decided weren’t for me it was usually due to fear or lack of interest. Think about it. When you don’t drink, then you assume those who do are probably immature. If you don’t support Trump, then those that do are probably lunatics. What if instead of pasting the label on the lid jar and screwing it closed, we opened it up and started asking questions.
The minute we turn judgment into curiosity is the minute we begin living a life of compassion and understanding and move away from separation and discrimination.
I am not trying to claim I am now this perfect non judgmental person, but I am really trying to dig deeper before screwing on any lids.
Think about getting a sample at an ice cream shop. They usually give you a bite filled with all the toppings and not just the plain ice cream part. They want to showcase the best features of the ice cream so you are sold right away. I think people are a lot like this. But the difference is, the sample you often get doesn’t include the toppings with it. I think it’s probably a little more like a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Brownie Batter Core. You need to keep scooping and only at the center can you find the good stuff.
I can guarantee you, most of the time, the first bite is not going to taste like the sample, but that doesn’t mean you should close up the lid. It just means you have to keep digging.
You’ll be surprised what you just might find.ASK A QUESTION